Love, Fear and Enlightenment ~By CordieB

May 5, 2010 at 10:33 pm · Filed under Observations and tagged: broken heart, confused, control, controlling, cordieb, couples, dating, emotional, emotions, enlightened, enlightment, fear, freedom, god, insecurity, joy, liberty, Love, lovers, marriage, men, mind control, peace, relationship, relationships, spirit, spiritual, Spirituality, women

It’s been well over a year since I wrote this. . . and still the epic continues…

Love, Fear and Enlightenment ~CordieB.

She gazed upon his deep brown eyes
Glaized with love and fear; confused yet wise
she knew he loved her desperately . . . .
he could not risk her flying free

She knew she loved him through all fate
with him she’d found her mirrored mate
but with his love came blind control
Though undeliberate, such control shackled her soul

She knew her love was full and true
but there were other things she also knew . . .
she knew she could not be contained
into the life for which he’d planned

She knew he had insecurities
that would never allow her to simply be
he’d always possess the fear of flight
of her souring endlessly into the night

But since her love was true and tried
she eased his fears; stayed by his side
dealt with his subtle controls of will
convinced his way was better still

In time she lost desire to feel . . .

the warmth of the glowing sun
the coolness of the rain upon
her gentle being which she’d dreamed of
she’d traded peace of mind for love . . .

but still the longing in her eyes
revealed a tale of silent cries
this only hightend his insecurites
gave way to anger; raged immaturities
he’d often, confused, demand her to leave
but she’d hold to her sweet reprieve . . .

then one blessed day so crystal clear
the god’s of earth’s great atmosphere
gave strength to follow the raged command
thus she left the home of her beloved man
which she had humorously dubbed the promise land

though she knew his words were those of fear
the god’s gave her insight true and clear
that though her love was tried and true
living that life again; she she could not do

she needed the ability to shed her tears
to speak or write her words without the fears
of disillusioned, often drunken anger
for which she feared might trigger danger

But still her love so pure remained
Yet her peace of mind was hence regained
she knew she really loved this man
but feared rejection and anger once again . . .

She bathed in sweet tranquilities
she felt she finally could breath
she missed his presense even so . . .
Yet there was a stranger she had to get to know

She needed to get to know herself
not live her life for someone else
she needed to live her own desires
find out what really sparked her fires

Again, her love was tried and true
but being alone was something she needed to do
she’d always ran from man to man
if one doesn’t work out; another one can
was often her motto for many years
so in fact she had never faced her inner fears
thus she found herself crying the same sad tears

She felt if she simply returned for love
the same problems would arise in time thereof
for although she loved him beyond compare
she knew she’d lost a part of self somewhere . . .

Ah yes! she loved him desperately
and felt there love was meant to be
but with raw emotions and fear intertwined
she risked loosing his love to find her mind

To be continued. . . .

~By CordieB

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Mirror of My Soul

February 15, 2010 at 6:32 pm · Filed under Observations and tagged: cordieb, Love, men, mindful, mindfullness, mirror, Observations, observer, Reflections, relationships, self, Spirituality, women

I read this at Sisters Leading Sisters this morning and simply had to pass it on!  I encourage all woman to join this group.  I find it to be exceptionally inspirational and filled with resources to help us lead and be lead to be the woman we truly are!   The message, however,  is for both  men and women, universally!

“Remove those ‘I want you to like me’ stickers from your forehead and, instead, place them where they truly will do the most good — on your mirror!” ~ Susan Jeffers

With that I felt impelled to repost my theme poem, Mirror of My Soul!   So, take that sticker off your forehead today!

~~~~~~~

Mirror of My Soul ~CordieB

Looking through the mirror into the window of my soul

I see a floating being, with stories yet untold

I see a bouncing baby and a woman turning old

I see a heart so full of warmth, yet at times so bitter cold

Looking through the mirror into the window of my being

I see a woman whose lived her life as though she were sightseeing

Who never truly embraced the world with zest of fearless flight

Who carefully lived each day in surety she’d sleep through another night

And awaken to the dawn; weary eyes appearing bright

Reaching into the mirror to grasp a clear vision of myself

I grasped a fleeting spirit, that nearly took my breath

She hauntingly laughed at me; wicked laughter laced with fear

She cursed me as a liar, all was not as it appeared

She said I was like an empty house; no personality of its own

My inhabitants, friends and lovers, often made this house their home

I changed my personality to fit the status quo

My decor changed with each owner, and disappeared once they would go

I could not grasp this entity, although she was so close and clear

Each time I thought I had her, she’d up and disappear

And then someone would magically arrive with the gift of identity

So for a time I’d harbor such, and thus it would be me

The mirrored being took a seat; looked me straight into my eyes

She watched me closely in her stare, and straightened her demise

She said, for once be true to self and you will have a clue

Of the beauty of the spirit and what is uniquely you

Do not be afraid to be what you know is deep within your soul

Release the fears of rejection, release the need to gain control

Dance with fairies in the night, sing lullabys with the moon

Walk in the rain in mornings, sleep till the afternoon

Speak your truths with love and passion;

Don’t do it just because you’ve heard its right…

And you will find the answers to the questions that haunt you in the night

But most of all my kindred one; you will find the light!

~By Cordieb. ~~~~~

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Few have been able to resist me – once my flowery, opium-fragrant mist is inhaled;

November 28, 2009 at 3:08 am · Filed under Observations and tagged: Awareness, beauty, cordieb, gods, Love, lust, men, mental, mindfullness, mirror, people, physical, poem, Poetry, puppy love, relationships, sex, sexual, spiritual, spiritual riddle, women

Current Mood: Happy

Photo derived from Showee and is licensed under a creative commons.

I was born long ago on a distant hillside by a beautiful shade tree

Or perhaps by a river under the sunset or on a sandy beach with a deep blue sea

I was created in bliss to demolish man’s selfish ways and give an alternate view of their false reality.

I was born in the eyes of a man and a woman; perchance Venus and Mars, or perhaps Adam and Eve.

Their first glances into each other’s translucent eyes released my spirit; set me free!

I gave them the spirit to bring forth life to new generations through each other;

I disguised the pain of intercourse into intense pleasure; oh! how they clung to each other!

I extended great cacoethes and courage like none they had ever known.

They actually wanted to help each other though all obstacles and life’s unknown!

I masked their selfishness so they would work together to overcome universal elements;

I was borne to enable them to combine there strengths; forget self-discriminates;

But I had been contained so long, that I lost control, as soon as their glances set me free.

I easily took over these poor humans’ hearts and minds and completely distorted their reality;

I wanted to test them and myself to see just how far I could take them; how strong I could be.

I found that I was limited by my father, time, and my mother, space, they soon tamed and admonished me!

Even today, my badness feels so good, it releases euphoric dopamine;

My power so intoxicating – I can be your worst enemy or your best friend;

My tales are so captivating, I can make a wrong man do right and a right woman do wrong.

So addictive is my essence, I can make one come home early or stay out all night long. (whew!)

Few have been able to resist me – once my flowery, opium-fragrant mist is inhaled;

I’m so irresistible – there are very few obstacles for which I can’t prevail;

I’ve provided inertia to win wars, climb mountains; cross many lands and seas;

I have the venomous poison of a serpent and the sweet sting of a thousand honeybees!

(oh my!)

I’m the secret to the fountain of youth; yet my fountain can be limited;

By the humdrum of ennui , my aforementioned parents and familiarity unlimited;

I build a tolerance of such – it takes more of me to keep my victims high;

Until I’m simply not enough to keep my subjects flying wildly into unlimited skies;

So they shed their wings and suddenly they fall from sister grace that kept them suspended;

In the clouds of unlimited possiblities. Sadly, their glorious illusionary trip has ended.

But if you’re smart or lucky, you’ll invite my oldest sister, love, into your heart;

She’s intelligent and compassionate, reality and illusion she easily distinguishes apart.

She embodies strength that’s enduring, though more supbtle than my dying passion;

She’s not a trend; she’s got class and opulence- her style is never out of fashion.

But if ever you need me to cultivate your desires, rejuvinate your passion, and negate your trust -

Close your eyes, take me in; devour me; but remember! in a few seasons I will turn into star dust;

Hopefully my loving and gracious sisters will save you from the emptiness I’ll leave upon your yearning bust;

I am the young, beautiful, and captivating, yet short lived sister of grace and love; I am (click below for answer)

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The Spirit of Forgiveness in Relationships

June 9, 2009 at 5:14 pm · Filed under Observations and tagged: Agape, broken heart, Budah, cheating, Christ, eros, forgive, forgiveness, heart, Love, Lying, marriage, men, peace, relationships, spiritual, Spirituality, Truth, untruths, women

Let us drop the stones of revenge and try a new approach... forgiveness - by Anit@_M

 Now just because we forgive someone does not mean that we should allow anyone to continually hurt us. It means that we release them from the anger, resentment, and bitterness usually associated with an unforgiving spirit. It means that we love them, in spite of….. We love them whether they are in our lives or out of our lives…just like the father loves the prodigal son.  In order to conjure the spirit of forgiveness, we must first conjure the spirit of godly love and compassion. The spirit of godly love (agape) “compassionate love” will get us much further in our relationships than the spirit of being in love (eros) “passionate love.” You see in the spirit of eros love, with it’s swirling emotions and drama, we don’t actually actively love our beloved; rather, we find a desperate emotional need for our beloved to love us.  Although, the spirit of eros in a relationship is important, as it makes the relationship, exciting and exhilarating, these feelings ALWAYS dissipate unless they are accompanied by the spirit of agape love.

So if there is something that you feel unforgiving about your beloved today, try to summon the spirit of agape love and harness compassion, not only for your beloved, but also for yourself.    This is the spirit that 50-year old anniversaries are based upon!  You might be surprised how much better you will feel about your beloved, but even more so, about yourself!

Quote for the Day:   "There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” – Bryant H. McGill -

Later this week, I will give some ideas on harnessing the spirit of agape love….and I appreciate any input or comments you may have.  Until then…

Peace, Light and Love, CordieB.

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A Spiritual Riddle – This spirit questioned right from wrong

January 23, 2009 at 12:00 am · Filed under Humanity, Mental Stress, Observations, Original Stuff, Poetry, Spiritual Riddles, Spirituality and tagged: Add new tag, Awareness, creation, darkness, differences, duality, ego, embracing, god, gods, happiness, light, likeness, Love, men, peace, relationships, riddle, spirits, spiritual riddle, Spirituality, women

Once upon a midnight blue
When you were me and I were you
And everything was tried and true
A dark spirit of our selves shown through

Though my eyes were brown and yours were blue
We at first appreciated the differences in hue
Why they were different, we had no clue
But embraced the beauty, through and through

Then on that midnight starry night
The gods awakened, causing stress and fright
Fear was something we had never known
Whether close together or all alone

We had all we ever needed or ever would
We could achieve anything that ever could
But on that dark night, once upon
The gods became bored of creation . . .
And so the games of life begun . . .

"How can we make them not forsee
That they are one and all as we?
How can we make them entertain
If they know that all are one and one’s the same?"

And so the god of unimpressed
Purposed to put forth a simple test
No pain was known to men back then
It was invented to see how best
Two lives would deal, and who would win
Pain produced me; thus I produced what you call sin.

Sadly the test failed miserably
Soon you became you and I became me
And so the gods changed destiny…
of how life was suppose to be.

This spirit often called out of name
Whose first intent was to bear blame
To make you look at me as I
And question differences to why
We were not exactly both the same

This spirit questioned right from wrong
And high from low and short from long
Discarded the weak, embraced the strong;
And though we both stood side by side
And knew no thing of foolish pride
This spirit borne proudness so great
That pride turned quickly into hate

As pain was never in the original plan;
For any living creature, including man.
Back then we were much like the beautiful tree
Who gives all of herself and love just to be . . .
And co-create in God’s creativity….
No pain is felt by the morning glory
Who each morning tells a most lovely story
The grass is not pained by the trample of man
She embraces the walks on her bountiful land

I’m told the Creation God attempted to correct this aweful woe
By instilling in animals, knowledge of everything they’d ever need or know…
But most humans remained retarded in their abilities
To  see the the forest through the trees…
For despite having knowledge to eliminate pain’s dark shadow
Pain’s offspring remained, Who am I . . . (Click below for Riddle Answer)

Read the rest of this entry »

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Put Your Records On – Corinne Bailey Rae

January 17, 2009 at 5:27 pm · Filed under Art, Christianity, Humanity, Justice, Love, Mental Stress, Music for the Soul, Observations, Spirituality, life and tagged: Corinne Bailey Rae, dancing, freedom, independence, Love, peace, put your records on, Spirituality, women

[dailymotion id=xectq&v3]

—–
Quote of the Day. . .
You can never dance to the same beat as everyone; so you may as well dance your own beat…Just try not to step on anyone’s toes while you dance! CordieB.
—–

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don’t need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we’ve got it wrong, but it’s alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don’t you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside,
(just relax, just relax)
Don’t you let those other boys fool you,
Got to love that afro hair do.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it’s alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don’t you think it’s strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

‘Twas more than I could take, pity for pity’s sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don’t even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, you’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow
Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don’t need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we’ve got it wrong, but it’s alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don’t you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sunburnt and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the roadside,
(just relax, just relax)
Don’t you let those other boys fool you,
Got to love that afro hair do.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it’s alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don’t you think it’s strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

‘Twas more than I could take, pity for pity’s sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don’t even have to try any longer?
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, you’re gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

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Open the Window ~By CordieB

January 7, 2009 at 7:18 pm · Filed under Observations and tagged: children, control, controlling relationships, freedom, growth, letting go, Love, men, personalities, relationships, spiritual growth, women

There is a certain sadness one often feels when one has to relinquish control;

The sadness of a dying past…allowing the present to replace the old;

There is a certain anguish in realizing our grasp must be broken;

Like watching our children leave the nest…our real fears are seldom spoken…

Because we know that some of our desires die with our letting go;

But let go we must …in order that love ones can blossom and grow

So, our selfish motivations to hold our love ones near…

is often miscommunicated with sadness, anguish and fear…

If we truly love someone we must encourage them to be

Uniquely themselves by  ensuring they are free…

from our insecurity based limitations which may hinder their flight…

Open the window!  Allow love ones to find their true light!
~~Written by CordieB

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Walking In Sunshine, Through the Rain

October 2, 2008 at 4:35 pm · Filed under Christianity, Humanity, Love, Mental Stress, Observations, Original Stuff, Poetry, Spirituality and tagged: adversities, adversity, african-american women, charity, cordieb, faith, hate, hope, Love, morning, people, rain, relationships, renew, Spirituality, sunshine, umbrella, women

Into each life some rain must fall…

yet the sun’s out there throughout it all…

though shadowed by dismal clouds of rain,

the sun abides; it still remains.

So often in our minds, we can not feel

what we don’t see; though it is real…

So often we fail to recognize the fact

that through the storm, the sun remains in tact;

Her energy works with the storms of life,

to nurture our souls; withstand the strife…

to help us grow in God’s domain…

to make us strong, endure the pain.

Like when a newborn babe first breaks the womb;

Emerginging into light, quickly she blooms…

Into an independent being, from love begotten…

Thus, pain of passage is soon forgotten!

So when the rains falls heavily upon my face,

I embrace God’s nurturing, cleansing grace;

I see his love peaking through the clouds;

I feel her essense as rain enshrouds;

I embrace his power; when lightning strikes…

when thunder roars through darkened nights;

I hold my own, I understand…

It’s all part of an intricate, master plan-

I know the sun is still out there…

She’s got my back, she’s most aware! everywhere!

And when the morning comes to view…

She carresses my being; life’s anewed.

Like nature freshened by morning’s dew.

~Written especially for you!  By CordieB

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Superwoman

September 7, 2008 at 3:47 pm · Filed under Observations and tagged: affection, Alicia Keys, caring, Courage, life, Love, Nessa, peace, strength, struggle, Superwoman, Wisdom, woman, Womanhood, women

Dedicated to Sanity Found’s Nessa  who passed on this morning, and all the other Superwomen out there!

I heard this song for the first time this morning. I’m really surprized that I had not heard it previously, the Alecia Keys fan that I am! Oh my, this song brought back an array of memories to my heart. The times of struggle, the knowing of struggle my daughters, my friends, and of course my sisters out there have each day. I also realized that I have always been able to come out of any struggle; always a survivor, a superwoman. For that I am thankful! Always remember, we are all superwomen! We just need to remain strong and diligent; preserve our God given love and affection – for without this we would not be women – and certainly not super! So many times once we feel we have arrived, we forget from whence we came. This feeling, although an armour, keeps us from feeling and leaves us with a feeling of emptiness. Superwomen reach out to their sisters and brothers and help them in their times of need; Superwomen know from where their strength comes; Superwomen go through life’s bumps and may fall down but always get back up! And when Superwomen feel as if they can’t, along comes another Superwoman to remind them they can! Superwomen know that this too shall pass! Superwomen are not arrogant, not all knowing, and are always willing to listen to another’s point of view. They know that they can offer their gifts, and they can accept gifts of others with grace and dignity. Superwoman speak truth, wisdom and courage. Superwomen have forgiving spirits; because they know they have fallen short themselves at one point or another; and may fall again.  They realize life is such.  Superwomen know how to love completely without fear; and are thus fearless! So for all you Superwomen out there, I say – God bless!  Peace, Light and Love. . . CordieB. 

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African-American Grandmothers ~Written by CordieB

August 12, 2008 at 3:28 am · Filed under Christianity, Humanity, Love, Observations, Spirituality and tagged: African American, bible, caregivers, children, Christianity, codependency, enabling, grandchildren, grandmothers, Love, Spirituality, women

Cordieb and BabyCocoa

I’m reposting this due to an interesting blog posting I read today on RawDawgB’s blog, entititled, "When the grandmomma’s gone "   Now, if you’ve been blogging with me for some time, you will know that I judge people for themselves, not based on color, religion, sex, or anything else.  But this topic is based on stats – and I’d appreciate any feedback you might offer, no matter your race, creed, or nationality.  Please be frank and honest with your opinions; however any opinion that are based on racisim or hatred will be deleted as they were on the first posting.  Peace, Light and Love . . . . CordieB. 

Why is it that African-American women tend to take care of their extended families and non-families more so than our caucasion sisters.   I visited my Aunt (who is 70+)  last weekend, and was amused, as always, at her streangth and her many stories of days gone by.  While I was there, two of her great- grand children were preparing to eat.   Now, my aunt, who is 70+ has raised her children, some of her grand children; and now – God bless her soul, she is raising two of her great grands!  These children are still in elementary school!   She receives very little assistance, –other than finacial help from her son who lives with her.    Most of the physical and emotional tolls all fall on her.  This same woman took care of my grand mother when she became too old to care for herself.  She would not have ever thought of putting Granny in a nursing home.  She took care of me when my mother passed away  (And I thank her for it).  She has taken in so many people with hard luck situations, and hardly ever complains.  But what’s so amazing about her is that she is the norm among African-American woman 50 years of age and older.  Now, some may feel that this is a myth or a belief that is not based on fact.   I made this observation based upon people whom I’ve encountered (my family, my friends)– and true enough, there are studies that show this to be true -  see below: 

Goodman and Silverstein (2001) found that compared to grandmothers of other ethnic groups, African American grandmothers were more likely to have more life satisfaction and lower negative affect. However, further empirical research has pointed to other reasons that suggest the issue of grandparents as caregivers for their grandchildren is especially relevant for African Americans. In the United States, the largest percentages of children living in a grandparent headed household are African American (Pebley & Rudkin, 1999; Pinson-Millburn & Fabian, 1996; Fuller-Thompson & Minkler, 2000; Caputo, 2001). Studies have found that compared to White grandparents who are caregivers to their grandchildren, African American parenting grandparents are more likely to be unemployed, live below the poverty line, and have more grandchildren for whom they provide care (Sands & Goldberg-Glen, 2000). Similarly, others have found that living beneath the poverty line, being African American, and being single raises the probability of becoming a grandparent who is a caregiver to their grandchildren (Roe & Minkler, 1998). Fuller-Thompson

To read the entire study, see http://www.clas.ufl.edu/users/tlmills/pub/Mills%20Publications/Mills,%20Gomez%20Smith%20&%20DeLeon_Grandparents.pdf

If you read the whole report you will see that among grandmothers raising grandchildren, African-American grandmothers make up for 69 percent of the total. 

Now back to the question.  Why?  I have more than a few answers of my own, but the best one that I can give is because we are expected to. 

Now expecting a 70 year to raise an elementary school aged child is nothing to brag about–in fact it is ludicrous.  I find  this type of expectation is what oftentimes leaves whole generations without proper guidance and discipline.   Where are the mothers? God only knows where the fathers are.  What are we teaching our children when we give them the expectation that we will always be there for them and for their’s-no doubt.  How many borderline unfit mothers would straighten up if we threatened to call social services and not do the work ourselves? 

Now I know that I might pee a lot of my beautiful people off by saying this; afterall – it’s not only that we are expected, we also have those spiritual virtues of love, caring, and being responsible for others who are less fortunate. 

However, love sometimes has to be learned the hard way.  Caring means, sometimes no matter how hard it might be, we step back and let our children or friends actually pass the grade and not do the work for them.   By doing the work for them, we are making  a contribution to a new generation of ignorance and complacency.

The Bible says, give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day, teach a man to fish and he’ll eat for a lifetime. 

There is a difference between helping and "enabling."    Enabling is a term that I, until recently, only associated with addiction.  However, when we allow self sufficient adults to become totally dependent upon us, we are not helping them at the least.   In fact, we are enabling them to become addicted to a cycle of dependency.

We can’t stop this cycle overnight.  But we can stop it by gradually putting our foot down and not allowing people to make so many unhealthy and unloving demands on us. 

We have to again teach our children and our neigbors self-sufficency by providing tough love–that which will have lasting and significant assistance. 

Peace, Light and Love. . . CordieB

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